11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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