I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
