It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
