i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
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