i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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