Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
