I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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