So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
