1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
