i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
