Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
