did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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