hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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