I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
