we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
