I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
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you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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