Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
