Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
