the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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