at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
