So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
