Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize