Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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