...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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