he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
