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• (559): View more from California

  if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  That's science, my friend. Boner science.

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• (818): View more from California

  My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  "You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever

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• (903): View more from Texas

  Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test

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• (646): View more from New York

  lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina

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• (518): View more from New York

  I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn

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