you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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