"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize