Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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