dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
