Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Fuck appropriateness.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
