no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
