So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
They have beer where we have blood.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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