You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
