he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
