Four minutes until I can fart!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize