You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
