oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
