God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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