so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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