doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
