Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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