Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
