I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
