omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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