Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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