If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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