awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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