This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
