That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
