I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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