flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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