First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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