C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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