this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
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Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
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I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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