Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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