So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
