he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you didnt know i had herpes?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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